Are you in a relationship that's emotionally draining? Are you having a hard time making sense of why all of your efforts at peaceful relationships are getting met with frustrating results?

You my friend may be dealing with a narcissist and in today's article, we're going to talk about the eight signs that God is showing you that person is a narcissist. 


The word narcissist has become a buzzword. I mean, every time we encounter someone, we don't like, they get labeled as a narcissist. 


And while this is dangerous and irresponsible, it is equally as dangerous to ignore the destructive behaviors, all in the name of Jesus. 


You see Jesus never called us to be ignorant. In fact, in Second Timothy 3:1 through 17, He States. 

But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.

 

And if you think these people aren't Christians, you may want to think again. So what is a narcissist?

 

Well, a narcissist is marked by an inflated sense of their own importance, a  deep need for excessive admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. Everyone has narcissistic Tendencies. 


We were born into this world of sin-filled people and we're all self-focused to a certain degree, but narcissism takes this to a whole new level. 


In fact, there are several levels we can have narcissistic traits, we can have narcissism, or we can have a Personality disorder. 


And there are also several types of narcissists, but for the sake of today's video, we're just going to refer to the overt and covert.


The overt is the grandiose outwardly arrogate narcissist that typically thinks of when you think of a narcissist, 


The covert is more passive-aggressive. They are the quiet victim type. Now both are dangerous but it's the covert that catches most people off guard. 


And for many narcissists, are oblivious to their troublesome weaknesses. In fact, many classify their weaknesses as strengths.


 But behind these seemingly arrogant behaviors lies an extremely fragile self-esteem. And you may be able to easily identify these toxic traits in an obnoxious coworker or a neighbor. 


But what happens when the person closest to you is, showing these signs? It can be confusing, frustrating, and hurtful. 


We have a hard time identifying people who hold a title in our lives mother brother daughter, husband friend. 


But the truth is that Satan will use those closest to you, to wreak the most havoc in your life. And this video is in no way meant to bring division or cause animosity. 


But if you want to properly deal with toxic people, you first must know what you're dealing with. Ignorance my friend is not Bliss.


In Matthew 10:16.

Jesus reminds us that I am sending you out like sheep among wolves, therefore be shrewd as snakes and innocent as doves. 

So let's talk today about eight sign that God is showing you that person is a narcissist 


Sign-Number One, They’re Terrible Listener. 

Proverbs 18:13 Reminds us that if one gives an answer before he hears it is his folly and shame

Narcissists don't value you or what you have to say if it doesn't suit their needs. they love to talk and air their opinions and to get the focus back on them. 


They listen only enough to gather enough information to formulate a response or use what you say against you at a later time.


 Sign Number Two, Extreme Self-Worth Behaviors 

Narcissists will always value themselves more than others don’t always appear in an overt braggadocious kind of way.


The overt narcissist will constantly brag about themselves, while the covert will actually put themselves down.


 And this may seem contrary to narcissistic behavior, but it all comes back to them, either overtly asking or covertly fishing for attention and admiration.


 Romans 12:3 reminds us to Not think more highly of yourself than you should.

 

 Although their opinion of themselves is high, their self-esteem is extremely low. This is why they're always looking for outside validation. 

Sign. Number Four, They Hate Criticism 

Narcissists can't take any form of criticism or feedback that isn't positive. Remember that fragile ego is easily shattered when you expose their less than perfect behavior. 


Now, a healthy person may not like criticism, but they're gonna see the value in it. Not narcissists

. Remember what Proverbs 15:32 says -

Those who disregard discipline despise themselves, but the one who heeds, correction, gains understanding.

 

Narcissists will come out of their faces so fast to scare you into submission. And this will often happen in an angry Outburst, but it can also be displayed in covert behaviors, like crying and victim, like behaviors.

Sign Number Five, They Don't Take Responsibility. 

Narcissists don't believe that anything is ever their fault. They can't apologize and to do so again, would shatter their fragile ego, and in their eyes, give you the power. 


If forced, they may apologize by saying things like, I'm sorry that happened, or I'm sorry, you feel that way. 


The Bible is clear and Proverbs 28:13 

Whoever conceals his transgressions will not Prosper but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain Mercy.

 

Narcissists expect Mercy but offer, nothing but judgment, and if you call them out on anything you will find that defensiveness is their go-to response. 


Sign Number Six, They Are Incredibly Envious 

Narcissists will insist that they don't care what others think, and what others are doing. But the truth is drip with jealousy. 


A classic example of this would be the prodigal son's brother. And they will do whatever needs to be done to be on top, whether that's building themselves up or putting others down.


And they tend to navigate towards enablers, who will puff them up. And the narcissist will not surround themselves with people that they perceive are better than them. 


The people around them have to provide the supply that they need and the narcissist could only be about 2% better than the people in their lives. 


But since they feel that they're better they now consider themselves good. So in other words, they're saying, oh, since she's worse. I must be good. 


Sign Number Seven, They're Fake. 

As a genuine authentic person, you are likely finding it, frustrating trying to connect with the narcissist. That’s because they have an unhealthy attachment style and cannot form healthy relationships.


This is why the healthier you get, the worst they get. they're like aliens that come to this earth and have to copy the behaviors that will get them what they want.


 So the humility that you think you might see is fake, the niceness fake, sincerity that you believe is genuine most times fake. Even their faith their repentance is usually fake. 


Sign Number Eight. They're changing you. 

Christians admirably, try to overcome evil with good. So if we see someone with inappropriate behavior, we believe that we can show them the good and healthy behaviors that they will then begin to model. 


And while this may be appropriate for naive or ignorant people sometimes, it never true for a narcissist, they can change you through their manipulative, gaslighting behavior all to gain regain control of the relationship.


 Meanwhile, you feel like you're losing your mind .but as a good Christian, you try and you try because. After all Jesus, never gave up on people. Or did he? We'll talk about that in another discussion.


 And instead of you changing them, they now change you. You now find yourself responding in ways that you're embarrassed about.


 Perhaps even thinking or acting a little bit like them just to survive in the relationship. 


First, Corinthians, 15:33 reminds us.

 Don't be fooled bad Company corrupts good character. 

My friend don't be fooled. The Bible tells us that you will know them by their fruit. Overt narcissists will charm you into believing that they are the best thing that has ever happened to you.


And the covert will say yes to your face and blow you off behind your back; both are equally toxic behaviors that I believe Satan uses to trip you up. 


This list is in, no way exhaustive and they are so many other traits that range from compulsive line to mood swings to twisting the word of God, to their all-time favorite divide and conquer. 


And my hope today was that you can open your eyes to see that. There are people around you. That do not display the fruit of the spirit, no matter what their words say.


 And I love the saying; when someone shows you who they are, believe them, 


Which sign did you find Most helpful,? if you are struggling with a narcissist or any type of toxic person in your life,